my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
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How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
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But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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