yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
