It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
