none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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