NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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