it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
