im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And then my night got REAL pukey
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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