More tranny stories later!
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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