You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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