Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
