Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
