wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize