So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
