Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
