So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
