i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
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Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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