I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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