is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
