All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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