remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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