kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
