it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
