do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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