none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
