OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
