For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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