Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We left an ass print on the piano.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
