i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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