i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
