Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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