Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
