8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
