We're facebook friends in real life
from now on my penis is your penis
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
