I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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