Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just google imaged poop.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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