Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
