I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
