She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
