i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
