playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
