What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
