theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
