I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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