we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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