Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
