Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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