dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
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the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
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Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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