I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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