she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize