Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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