he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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