I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
