Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
