oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
