My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
