Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
