found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
