You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
