My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
