i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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