We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize