Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
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At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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