I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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