Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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