last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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