I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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