You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
